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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26092570">In Pursuit of the Dawn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aedrexis/pseuds/Aedrexis'>Aedrexis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stardew Valley (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Magic, Smoking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:28:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26092570</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aedrexis/pseuds/Aedrexis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt's life was set to be more than many could hope for; all of that changed in the blink of an eye. As the hourglass flipped, he lost one life and was thrown into another, his only solace; a gift from his late grandfather. Longing to be set free from the chains of the past, those very shackles begin to shape a gift, to a curse.<br/>Shane's monochromatic life; work, drink, sleep, repeat, pushes him to the edge of reality. Bitterly shunning all those around him, one light shines through.</p><p>But that light is fading...</p><p>As the shackles break, the past constantly threatens to tear the lives they've tried to build away; the most important lesson they'll learn is to keep sight of the future that has yet to be written.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jas &amp; Marnie &amp; Shane (Stardew Valley), Shane &amp; Male Player (Stardew Valley), Shane (Stardew Valley) &amp; Original Male Character(s), Shane (Stardew Valley)/Original Character(s), Shane/Male Player (Stardew Valley), Shane/Player (Stardew Valley)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The ever-rotating Wheel of Fate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this is my first attempt at story writing. Shoutout to CourageousLlama for encouraging me to have a go, anyone reading this should go check out their work too!<br/>I just want to say before you begin, as I write and plan ahead, I may be revisiting chapters; adding and altering sections. This is a major work in progress so thanks for bearing with :D<br/>Anyway I hope you enjoy, and if not then I thank you anyway for taking the time to try it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> Matt shot upright, breathless and in shock. He looked around the room, panicked, as reality began to set in once more. <em>'Calm down, breathe, it was just a nightmare...you're not there anymore'</em> he thought to himself as he felt the bedcovers in an attempt to ground himself from his emotions, before stretching and sitting upright for a moment, contemplating life. He sighed to himself and checked his phone, nothing new as per usual. The news was the same, bleak and unexciting as always, and social media was as dead as a doorknob. The sun peered through the window with a similar glow as that in his nightmare. Matt shivered in recollection before turning away and refocusing on the day ahead. He opened his drawer and grabbed his medication, as he did every morning. <em>Ah my wonderful 'happy pills', where would I be without you? </em> He knocked back all three pills at once with a mouthful of water. He untied this hair from the loose bun he slept in allowing it to cascade down his back freely, before looking around his room once more for his cigarettes. <em> Where could I have left them? I'm sure they were over here somewhere. </em></p><p>He got out of bed and began sleepily rummaging through his belongings before he eventually found them in his overcoat pocket. <em>Ah here they are. Nothing like a few carcinogens to get yourself awake in the morning.</em> He stared at the wall clock for a few minutes before the sinking realisation of work began to embed itself in his mind. Joja Corp was vile as far as Matt was concerned, it was the sort of place that demanded all of his energy, yet gave nothing back in return.<em> What's the point of it all? The surveillance is actually the biggest pisstake, it's like a fucking prison. Trapped from 9am to 5pm ad infinitum.</em> He sighed to himself as he summoned what little motivation he had to get on with the day. He grabbed his dressing gown, before heading into his living room. He opened the window and took in the sights and the sounds; then lit up and allowed himself some time to acquaint himself with sentience.</p><p> <em>Who would have thought I'd be here now, stuck working for Joja Corp. Life eh? </em>He mused to himself, while playing with the edges of his moustache. <em>I should probably trim my beard down, its starting to look a bit untidy, and I really can't be arsed with a lecture on standards and presentability. </em>He finished his cigarette and started to get ready for the day ahead. He couldn't be bothered to shower so he got dressed and put extra fragrance on to ensure he didn't smell. He made himself a pot of tea, <em>loose leaf, how luxurious of me, now...where's that bottle gone?...</em> He rummaged cross his kitchen in frustration looking for his usual additive, he quickly gave up and decided to get a new one from the cupboard. <em>I should probably clean the empty ones out at some point...</em> He pulled the cork and the pungent stench hit his nostrils, nothing he wasn't used to. He ungraciously poured the Gin into the teapot before necking the remainder of it straight. He thoughtlessly dropped the bottle into the sink and moved to the dining table, grabbing his laptop on the way, and bumping into a stack of papers on the bureau.</p><p> <em>"</em>Do you mind?" He voiced thoughtlessly at the papers as though he'd receive a response. His eyes caught sight of a purple seal on the back of an envelope, <em>Where have I seen that before...</em> Before he could investigate, he was interrupted by a phone call. he moved over to the window lighting another cigarette and answered the call gruff as usual.</p><p>---------------------------------------------------</p><p>"Yes?" </p><p>
  <em>"You've never really been one for mornings have you, Matthew?"</em>
</p><p>"Jake...to what do I owe this pleasure"</p><p>
  <em>"Now now, that's Mr Roberts to you. I take it you've looked over the meeting notes for this morning?"</em>
</p><p>"I wouldn't dream of disappointing...sir..."</p><p>
  <em>"Good good. My my who would've thought you could be even more foul than you usually are"</em>
</p><p>"Oh look, the kettle is talking to the pot! Hang out the flags, three cheers!"</p><p>
  <em>"Must you always be so sarcastic Matthew? What our superior sees in you I don't know"</em>
</p><p>"When you're quite finished, I have other matters to attend to."</p><p>
  <em>" *sighs* Well, I shall be seeing you later"</em>
</p><p>"Enjoy your morning, safe journey"</p><p>-----------------------------------------------</p><p><em>Wouldn't it be such a shame if a terrible accident happened </em>he thought to himself bitterly as he ended the call. He knew that it did him no favours to be so blunt with his colleagues, but he had little care left for their feelings. He stood at the window lighting another cigarette, and took a sip from his alcohol-infused tea. He watched the birds outside as he calmed himself down and took in the turn of the season, the breeze carried a faint sweetness, playing with his hair and carrying the cigarette smoke away into the sky. <em>He does have a point I suppose, I shouldn't be so bitter with people all the time... </em></p><p>Turning back into the room he caught sight of the letter once more. He retrieved the letter and immediately memories came flooding back to him.<em>This...grandpapa gave me this before he died...I completely forgot about it. Has work really pushed me to the point where I lose sight of what's really important?...I wonder what it says...</em>Matt grabbed his letter opener from his desk drawer and opened the envelope, sipping his tea once more; as he began to read he felt a tug on his heart that he hadn't felt in years.</p><hr/><p></p><div>
  <p>"My dear Matthew. If you are reading this then it must be as I suspected. I knew there would come a day where the stresses of life would become too much to bear, that's why I kept my most prized posession of all to pass on to you. When I passed my responsibilities to your dear father, I decided to get away from it all and bought a little farm in Pelican Town, located in Stardew Valley on the southern coast; where I could be away from the restraints of the palace and could have a little slice of heaven to lose myself in. The deeds to the place are yours now, I know it will bring you the happiness you seek, and the adventures you desire.</p>
  <p> Times are uncertain, and your father is facing mounting pressure from all sides, but remember that you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others, I fear he may have already forgotten this but I do not wish the same for you. The farm is wonderful, I'm sure you'll find it a true slice of heaven, I also kept several family heirlooms and mementos hidden away there to remind me of you, your siblings, and your parents, they should all still be there. If you do decide to move, I have enclosed the contact details and the farm deeds should you need them.</p>
  <p>It would probably be best not for me to say this, but you were always secretly my favourite, I have you to thank for so many fond memories and small joys, It is paramount to me that you know this. I sincerely wish you the best in life, and remember that I'll always be watching over you.</p>
  <p>Spread your wings and fly my little one, you've got this! Yours with love and affection - your grandfather xx</p>
  <hr/>
  <p><em>Oh grandpapa...if only you knew... </em>Matt held back his tears and turned to look out of the window once more. Deciding that painful memories required a higher dose of nicotine, he lit up once again, contemplating the contents of the letter. <em>Grandpapa on a farm...? But how?...coming to think of it I don't recall seeing him nearly as frequently as I got older...is this where he was the whole time? </em>Birdsong from the trees below made Matt smile to himself as he leaned against the windowframe. <em>I forgot today was the first day of spring...shame I've got to spend it stuck in an office all day...I wish I'd never started working at the damn place...</em></p>
  <p>Matt wrestled with his mind for about half an hour, reading the letter over and over, and looking at the time. <em>I mean...as sudden as this all is, I have the chance to finally escape from this cycle. The stress, the restrictions...and the paperwork...how many other people get a chance like this?</em></p>
  <p>Matt smiled to himself and read through the deeds of the farm carefully thinking about the choice before him. If he wanted to be in work he should have left 10 minutes ago, but he simply sat at his desk deep in thought. <em>Mother...all those years ago you gave me a chance to live and to be free...I don't want your sacrifice to be in vain...I'll do it for you mother...and for you grandpapa...I want to make you both proud, wherever you are...</em> He chuckled slightly for as he began to imagine his grandfather running around on a farm, before he returned to his laptop. Checking properly through his emails, he realised how desperately he wished to be free of the whole ordeal. He sent an email to his superior announcing his resignation, and read through the contact information for the mayor of Pelican Town. <em>Right a Mr 'Lewis' I should be asking for...fuck's sake I HATE phone calls...for the love of Yoba, get a grip Matt...remember, be nice, this could be a new start...</em> He dialled the number and got an answer much quicker than anticipated.</p>
  <p>-----------------------------------------</p>
  <p>"Ah yes good morning sir. Do I have the pleasure of speaking to a Mr Lewis?"</p>
  <p>
    <em>"Yes this is Lewis, how can I help?"</em>
  </p>
  <p>"Oh wonderful...I was telephoning about the old farm which I believe is located in your town?"</p>
  <p>
    <em>"Ah! You must mean Heatherford Farm?"</em>
  </p>
  <p>"Yes that's the one, it belonged to my grandfather you see and I..."</p>
  <p>
    <em>"You're old Bertie's grandson? My dear boy its a pleasure!"</em>
  </p>
  <p>"Oh you knew him?"</p>
  <p>
    <em>"Well of course, he and I were thick as thieves. He was always talking about you, you know?"</em>
  </p>
  <p>"Y-you're far too kind sir...I wonder if I may be able to come down a little later on today?"</p>
  <p>
    <em>"By all means my dear boy, there's a bus service that comes fairly regularly actually, but we don't often get many visitors all the way out here"</em>
  </p>
  <p>"Wonderful, I'll check the times and come as soon as possible then?"</p>
  <p>
    <em>"Excellent! I look forward to meeting you Matthew"</em>
  </p>
  <p>"Oh...grandpapa told you my name then?"</p>
  <p>
    <em>"Well of course, he never had anything but praise for his grandson"</em>
  </p>
  <p>"Well I hope I live up to expectations then"</p>
  <p>
    <em>"Oh don't worry about all that, anyway I really must dash, things to do, people to see"</em>
  </p>
  <p>"No no, of course, sorry to take up so much of your valuable time"</p>
  <p>
    <em>"Don't be silly Matthew, just give me another call when you've got times sorted and I'll come and get you from the bus stop okay?</em>
  </p>
  <p>"Thank you Lewis, I'll see you later then"</p>
  <p>
    <em>"See you later! Safe journey!"</em>
  </p>
  <p>------------------------------------------</p>
  <p><em>Well I suppose there's no turning back now...holy shit I can't quite believe I'm actually doing this. I hope I'm not getting into something out of my depth...well in any case it's a bit late now isn't it?</em> Matt began to gather his clothes and belongings together, he didn't own much as he had become quite accustomed to a life of minimalism. He packed a suitcase and a bag, the rest was work related and was promptly thrown in the bin, with a heavy helping of gratification and satisfaction. He decided to check his emails one more time to see Joja's response to his resignation. He couldn't help but giggle to himself as he saw a large email from his superior. <em>Ha! Look at them fussing as though I give a shit. Toodle pip and cheerio Joja, I certainly won't be missing you any time soon.</em></p>
</div><p> He tied his hair into a bun and made sure his facial hair looked presentable, before donning his overcoat and grabbing his luggage. <em> I suppose I should look as though I've at least tried to make some sort of effort.</em> Checking he had his phone, wallet, hip flask and keys, he pulled his luggage outside before closing and locking the door; he headed downstairs. Finally he was able to be free; he was able to look forward to something for once as opposed to dreading it. The turn of the season reflected his mood perfectly, the fresh warmth, the sunlight; and the signs of new life budding around him. The feeling was liberating, invigorating; it was certainly a sensation he could get used to. He boarded the bus and made himself comfortable, before watching the world go by and losing himself in his thoughts.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p> “Uncle Shaaaaaane?”</p><p> Shane slowly awoke and looked around wearily in confusion. The sunlight passed through a small slit in the curtains giving the tiniest bit of light for him to come to his senses. <em>Fuck. My head. How much did I have last night?</em> He pushed his hair out of his eyes and lay back on the pillow, rubbing his temple as his headache pounded. <em>Yoba; I’m gonna have to ask Marnie for an aspirin, I think I had a bit too much this time.</em> He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and turned to check his phone briefly. <em>Nothing. Why do I even bother? It’s not as though anyone wants to talk to the town drunk is it? </em>He thought bitterly to himself. The bitterness was briefly pushed aside, however, at the calls of a very displeased goddaughter.</p><p>”Uncle Shane!” She announced loudly as she burst her way into Shane’s room. “I’ve been calling you for a whole minute and a half! I mean you’ve kept me waiting for you to say something for AGES!” She proclaimed in typical child talk. Shane turned to face his goddaughter and couldn’t help but grin at her pouting.</p><p>“So sorry to keep you waiting little lady, what can I do for you?” He asked trying his best to hide his discomfort from the hangover.</p><p>”Aunt Marnie is making breakfast and she wants to know if you want one slice of toast or two!” Jas put her hands on her hips with enough sass to make herself appear adorably ridiculous. <em>Yoba, when did she get so confident? </em>Shane thought to himself.</p><p>"Tell Marnie I'll be there in a sec, okay missy?" Jas gave a nod of approval, before running over to her godfather and giving him a quick hug. </p><p> "Bleh, you STINK" she exclaimed in unfiltered disgust. Shane burst into laughter at this.</p><p> "Good morning to you too. Now I'm just gonna get changed is that okay?" He asked, choking back laughter. <em>Fuck she's gonna be the death of me, I swear to Yoba.</em> As Jas left the room, Shane sighed and looked around at his room. The piles of clothes, the empty cans, the stains on the floor and walls from particularly heavy nights all jeered at him and brought him back down from the elation his goddaughter brought. The reminders of the mess he percieved himself to be did little to spur him out of bed, but he dragged himself out and threw on the clothing closest to him; before spraying some fragrance to mask the smell of stale ethanol.</p><p> "Hey Marnie" he said bluntly as he walked into the kitchen. He sat at the table and pretended to not notice the looks of worry coming from his aunt. <em>I don't deserve her concern, I wish she'd worry more about herself instead of wasting her energy on someone like me.</em></p><p>"How did you sleep last night?" she asked softly; keeping an eye on the bacon and eggs in the pan.</p><p> "Eh, could've been better I guess. Oh by the way, do you have any aspirin I could borrow?" </p><p>"What? Are you planning on giving it back when you've used it?" Marnie jested in an attempt to get her nephew to crack a smile. Shane looked down at the table and sighed gently to himself.</p><p>"It's okay if you don't. Just got a bit of a headache this morning that's all" he explained trying to not think about the nausea threatening to empty the remnants of the night onto the table. Marnie took the food off the hob and set it aside before rummaging through the medicine cupboard.</p><p>"Here you go Shane...You know I worry about you and how much you've been drinking lately." Shane repulsed internally; he didn't want to be having such a conversation at this time; not now nor ever.</p><p>"I'm fine Marnie, I promise" he said bluntly as he knocked back two pills. "Anyway, what's new?" He asked in an attempt to change the subject. Marnie continued getting food ready before it went cold.</p><p> "Well there is one thing actually, you know the derelict farm just north of here?" She asked. Shane nodded in affirmation. "Well its been abandoned for years, the last owner was a lovely old man. He couldn't keep up with the work alone so I used to go and lend a hand now and then you know, as good neighbours do." Shane looked up at his aunt at this.</p><p>"Is that a dig?" He asked. Knowing full well the number of times Marnie had told him off for the way he spoke to townsfolk.</p><p>"Anyway" she continued, shooting a glare to confirm his suspicions. "It turns out that gentleman had a grandson; and he's meant to be arriving today on the bus from the city." She explained as she handed a plate of breakfast to him.</p><p> "And...what difference does that make to me?" Shane questioned bluntly. A look of despair from his aunt made him sit back and feel bad. "Sorry Marnie, just not feeling great this morning." He said guiltily. Marnie sighed and sat herself down at the table with a plate of her own.</p><p>"I do wish you made a bit more of an effort with people sometimes Shane; you never used to be like this." she said wistfully. "I mean if you do happen to run into the new farmer at some point it can't hurt to be nice surely? I could do without you driving the business away." She chuckled to herself in the hope that a similar reaction would spring from her nephew.</p><p> "You know I don't like to talk to people" Shane mused quietly. Marnie sighed once more. "Look I don't mean you need to become best friends with everyone; maybe just try not to push everyone out all the time thats all." Shane looked down at his food again and played with it using his fork. Marnie continued;</p><p> "Well as I was saying, the grandson of the old man will be arriving today, and Lewis will be going to meet him with Robin. I thought it may be a nice idea for the three of us; you, me and Jas, to take a housewarming gift of some sort up and to offer our welcomes you know?" Shane, to Marnie's surprise, cracked a small grin.</p><p>"Is that to impress your new fella or because you're seeing gold in front of your eyes?" He teased with a glint in his eye.</p><p>"Oh you cheeky thing you!" Marnie said with a laugh. "Come on and eat your breakfast before it gets cold."</p><p>The sight of his aunt smiling was enough to keep Shane's demons at bay, if only for a little while. He was admittely a little intrigued to see who the new farmer was, but was soon distracted by the call of a day's work. He picked at his breakfast before grabbing his tattered Joja hoodie to go to work. <em>I swear to Yoba, if he's another Alex I'll tell Marnie where to shove her welcoming committee idea. Besides, I'd rather have a pizza party at the saloon than pretend to be a social butterfly or whatever.</em> As Shane said his goodbyes and left the ranch, the scent of the spring danced around him. The breeze tousled with his hair and the aromas of the cherry blossoms made him stop for a moment. Enjoying the small moment of peace, he thought to himself; <em>Marnie has Lewis, Jas has Vincent, but who do I have to share this with? I mean, people can do one...but...heh maybe I'm just getting soft.</em> Quickly remembering that he had somewhere to be, the sobering slap of reality reminded him that unless he got a move on he was going to be late to work.<em> Buh...may just ask Morris to come skip through the flowers and make daisy chains together...ugh what a thought...</em></p><p>He walked through town as normal and tried to ignore anyone he saw. He couldn't be bothered for small talk and there was plenty of it to be had with the turn of the season. It was rare for him to cross paths with anyone as he made sure to leave early enough to avoid them. This morning however, the onset of spring had drawn much of the town outside to enjoy the fresh air. <em> Just keep your head down, its not as though they care anyway. Probably just want a laugh at the alcoholic's expense...buh, make the most of it while it lasts </em> he thought morbidly to himself as he avoided eye contact with people. Nobody said hello, or even appeared to acknowledge his presence. Shane was glad that he didn't have to bother with anyone, but deep down he wondered if anyone really cared. <em> Heh...done a good job scarin' em off Shane...</em> he mocked internally. As he finally arrived at Joja Mart, he readied himself for the stream of shit that would inevitably come from his boss.</p><p>"Morning" Shane grunted as he walked through the automatic doors. Morris looked over his glasses, from his desk and Shane knew exactly what was coming.</p><p>"You're late Shane. What do you have to say for yourself?" He asked with a smirk. It was evident that he took an enormous amount of pride in making others miserable. <em> Drank myself to oblivion, couldn't be arsed to get up, want to die, just the usual.</em></p><p>"Only by 5 minutes" Shane responded, trying to push his bitter thoughts away for a moment. He saw the expression on his boss' face change and wished the earth would swallow him whole; lectures from Morris made him want to crawl into a ditch.</p><p>"What have I told you about punctuality?" Morris remarked. "Bah, as if you listen to anything I tell you anyway. Clearly my lecture on presentability has gone amiss also." He continued with a smug grin. Shane looked down at himself and his tattered hoodie. He ran his fingers across the stubble on his face and noticed his hair hanging in front of his eyes. <em> Heh, guess he has a point. Dunno who he wants me to impress.</em></p><p>"Is that it?" Shane replied bluntly. Morris sighed and directed him to the crates that needed putting on the shelves. Of all the townsfolk, Morris was the only one that gained genuine satisfaction from putting others down. Shane was no stranger to shunning the townsfolk, but deep down he felt as though he was doing them a favour, so that they'd have nothing to lose. He began to restock the shelves and soon enough he slipped into autopilot, his thoughts separating from his body. Slowly as the hours passed, the discontent and bitterness brewed ever more potent. His only motivation; 7 hours at the saloon to drink to oblivion...again...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A new start heralded by Persephone's return</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So anyone who’s already read this, I’ve merged two chapters into one as when I read back it didn’t really make much sense to have them separate. I’ve also added a few more character interactions to open doors for future conversations etc.<br/>To any newcomers, thank you if you’re still going, I do appreciate the support :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Are we there yet? No? Good. Because I am screwed</em> Matt had made the age old mistake of taking an extended amount of time to think about his decision. As to be expected he had worked himself up into an internal panic. The bus journey had been pleasant, and the scenery of Stardew Valley had been truly captivating, however Matt had grown bored of watching the hills roll by and had resorted to self-torture as a way of passing the time. The reality of his choice had sunk in, he was going to have to learn how to grow crops and care for animals, and how to perform proper manual labour. Not to mention sorting out the sale of his apartment in the city. He shuddered at the thought. <em>If grandpapa loved it so much here then there must have been something about it that brought him joy. I wonder if anyone else knew him, apart from Lewis; or rather who he really was. Probably best to just say nothing I suppose, this is meant to be my new start after all.</em></p><p>As Matt calmed himself down, an announcement came through the speakers on the bus. "We are now approaching our final stop; Pelican Town. All change please." <em>Am I on a bus or a train? Fuck me can't they at least have some sort of originality?</em> He gathered his luggage together and readied himself for his new life to truly begin. He stepped off the bus and was met with a symphony for the senses, the scent and warmth of spring were so much more pleasant than in the city; and the colours were phenominal. Contrastingly however, Matt noticed that the bus stop was little more than some concrete slabs by the side of the road, and there was a dirt path leading away through a decrepit fence that had certainly seen better days. His attention was quickly grabbed however by a woman dressed in leather and sporting an orange bun.</p><p>"Mr Matthew Postham?" She asked excitedly.</p><p>"That's right, and you must be Mrs Robin I presume? Mr Lewis mentioned you'd be meeting me here" Matt said pleasantly.</p><p>"Oh come on, drop the Mr and Mrs when talking to us" she laughed warmly. "All of us here in town know each other pretty well so theres no formalities or anything...well unless its legal or something." Matt chuckled to himself at the enthusiasm Robin conveyed. His anxieties about his new start began to fade and he began to loosen up slightly. "Well do you want to follow me?" Robin asked. "Your home is this way." </p><p>"Sure, do you mind if I have a cigarette? It's been hours." He asked nervously. Robin chuckled to herself. </p><p>"Yeah knock yourself out. I'm used to it from my son; Sebastian. He thinks I don't know." She said with a wink and a grin. Matt lit up and they both set off towards the farm, taking in the scenery as they walked. They discussed the usual pleasantries such as the weather and scenery, and Robin explained her profession and family. Matt tensed up briefly anticipating that he would have to explain about his family before as luck would have it, something else grabbed their attention. He looked at what lay before him and could barely contain himself. <em>Holy Yoba on a bike what a mess...</em></p><p>"I know, mind you its not surprising, its been empty here now since...well just before the revolution." Robin said thoughtfully. Matt looked at her and blushed slightly, not realising he had voiced his thoughts without intending to. Matt thought for a moment before asking;</p><p>"What happened out here after the revolution? It was pretty bad in the city." He did his best to push down old memories, his nightmare still haunting him.</p><p>"Well not much changed here honestly." Robin explained. "Pelican Town has always been a world away from the country's problems" she continued. "It was such a shame what happened though, feelings for the republic soured here when Jodi's husband was called up to war, bless their hearts. I think Marnie at the ranch was lucky enough to meet the Queen and her children come to think of it." Matt tensed further. <em>Shit, what?...of course there'd have to be someone out here that knows...brilliant...</em></p><p>"Sounds like quite the honour" Matt replied. Wanting to change the conversation he asked; "Oh I meant to ask, was Mr...er...was Lewis okay to come down? He mentioned that he would be here to meet me but I dont want to pull him away from his duties." Robin turned to face Matt.</p><p>"Lewis should be in the house now, we spent the morning making sure the old place was still habitable and all." She continued, a smile returning. "And you're a right worryer aren't you?" Matt tried to pull a response together and ended up looking like a goldfish. Robin erupted into laughter once more. "Come on, I'll call him out". Before she even had the chance, Lewis came bursting out of the house beaming.</p><p>"You're finally here! How was the journey?" Matt doused his cigarette in the ground and tucked loose strands of his hair behind his ear.</p><p>"It was pleasant really, there's only so many fields and hills you can count before getting bored though." He said with a nervous chuckle. To his surprise both Robin and Lewis burst into laughter.</p><p>"To be expected really" Lewis chimed in. "So what do you think of the old place?" He asked inquisitively. Matt took a look around at the land and realised he was just going to have to come out and say it.</p><p>"Its great...but...what a fucking mess..." he hesitated. The laughter only intensified.</p><p>"Not one to mince your words are you?" Robin exclaimed through laughter. Matt burst into laughter at this and the three were on the porch of his grandfather's house sharing good times like old friends.</p><p>"Well I'm sure you've got a lot to do, Robin and I will leave you to it. Oh! I've also left you a little something to help you get started...and...ah yes! Your grandfather's tools should be inside as well." Lewis played with the end of his moustache thoughtfully before adding; "And...I think that's it. So welcome to Pelican Town." he finished with a warm smile. The three finished their pleasantries and Matt went inside as Lewis and Robin headed back into town.</p><p>Still on a buzz from his welcoming party, Matt decided he would go into town and introduce himself to more of the townsfolk, he couldn't be bothered with unpacking. <em>Twenty to five, should be okay.</em> He thought to himself as he gathered his phone and wallet. He decided to light up once again on his way into town and lost himself in the sounds of the birds and the warmth of the sunset. He wandered down the path, passing the bus stop and came to what he assumed was the town square. It had certainly seen better days; some cobbles from the paving had come loose over the years and left the occasional pothole. The town was more of a hamlet to Matt, as he had been used to life in the city for as long as he could remember, however the charm of the place soon drew him in further. The evening was still young and thus there were a few people out and about enjoying the scenery. Matt caught sight of the clinic in the square and thought to himself. <em>Hmm...I should probably take the time to register with the place...I need to check if they can get my meds out here...I should have enough for a couple more days I think. </em>He entered slowly and was greeted cheerfully by a young woman at the counter. She sported a bob cut and glasses, and her smile was infectious; melting Matt’s apprehension away.</p><p>”Hey there! I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. You must be the new farmer everyone’s been talking about!” She said cheerfully. Matt chuckled at her enthusiasm.</p><p>”Yeah I just arrived today, so I appear to be talk of the town already? Dear me I’ve not properly seen anyone yet, other than Robin and Lewis.” He responded, returning the cheerful grin.</p><p>”Well I’m Maru, pleased to meet ya! Robin’s my mom actually.” She continued with her smile. Matt racked his brains and recalled the conversation with Robin on the way to the farm.</p><p>”Right...so that would make...Sebastian is it?...He’d be your brother?” Matt enquired as he connected the mental dots.</p><p>”Hehe, half-brother technically but very perceptive!” She chuckled sweetly. “Oh! I’m not being very professional at the moment...how may I help?” She asked with an attempt to keep a straight face.</p><p>”Well I only moved today and I need my patient notes transferred over, and I wanted to ask if you do prescriptions?” Matt responded thoughtfully. Maru checked quickly on the computer and asked Matt for a few more details. After providing them Maru was able to take a quick look at the most recent notes that had been put down for him.</p><p>”Hmm...oh...it says here you have a prescription for Venlafaxine...I’m sorry.” She said more quietly, showing visible concern. Matt smiled once more as he explained.</p><p>”Oh don’t be. It’s chronic so there’s not really much to be done; just needs to be managed that’s all. And I am fine on them, just find it hard to sleep sometimes and can phase in and out of reality so to speak.” He chuckled in an attempt to downplay his illness.</p><p>”Insomnia...and Dissociation...any other symptoms?” She asked solemnly as she typed into the computer. Matt chuckled and responded;</p><p>”Oh dear me, I only came in to see if there’d be any trouble with getting the pills in, I’m alright I assure you.” He looked down at his feet awkwardly. He always hated making a fuss.</p><p>”Oh don’t worry, this is just to pass to Dr. Harvey so he can review the effects and possibly recommend any adjustments...He’s the resident doctor by the way.” She continued as she typed into the computer. Matt always wondered what they wrote down when he visited the doctors, it always seemed to be a case of saying a short sentence, and they would type in a thousand word essay. <em>Well I mean I suppose it pays to be thorough...</em> As Maru finished typing she continued to Matt. "Right so I think that's everything. I just need to take your phone number so the doctor can contact you when he's gone through your notes; is that okay?" Matt smiled and replied;</p><p>"Top notch service, come in to ask a question and I get a check-up. I'll just write the number down now." He said with a chuckle.</p><p>"Hehe, between you and me I think he loves it. Theres not many of us here in town so when given the chance to do his job, he jumps on it." Maru responded, returning to her cheerful, unprofessional self.</p><p>"Well that's understandable. Can I have some of what he's on? Could do with that sort of motivation." Matt said, his chuckle evolving slowly to laughter.</p><p>"Yoba, I know right? I don't know where he gets it from." She returned the laughter.</p><p>The two chatted for a few moments longer before Maru remembered she had to close up for the day. Matt bid farewell and left the shop. As he got outside, he checked his phone. <em>Ten past five, I wonder where I could head to next...oh a ‘saloon’? What’s that? </em>Enthralled by curiosity, and his phone as he tried to research quickly what he was heading for, he didn’t notice the bad tempered Joja employee turning the corner.</p><p>“...Oh!” The two collided with each other and Matt fell to the floor landing on his back, he let out a grunt in pain and looked up at the employee. He managed to get a few words out while wincing at the pain shooting up his spine. Matt found himself gazing up at Shane. His purple hair fell over his eyes and danced in the evening breeze, his stubble accentuated his jawline and his rugged clothes all combined to send Matt into a trance. "Well do you want my help or shall I just leave you there?” Matt hadn’t noticed Shane’s outstretched arm as an offer of assistance. He blushed and took his hand before getting back on his feet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks...I’m Matt by the way” Matt choked out attempting to not make his staring obvious.</p><p>“Just because I’m not gonna leave you on the floor, doesn’t mean I want to be friends or something” Shane remarked gruffly. <em>Hmph, so this is the 'farmer' Marnie was on about...</em>  </p><p>“I don’t know who rubbed you up the wrong way today but watch your tone.” Matt said in exasperation “I only arrived here today so I haven’t exactly done anything to piss you off have I?”</p><p>Shane smirked and commented “Yeah, a posh city boy coming out to play farmer. Can’t even stand on your own.” Shane watched as a look of disgust began to emerge on Matt's face. <em>Brilliant, touched a nerve now, well done.</em></p><p>“Well don’t underestimate me. I may be some ‘posh city boy’ but I’m not dull. If you were as indifferent as all that how come you helped me up? Something grabbed your conscience?” Matt remarked, returning the smirk. Shane was slightly taken back for a moment before returning a remark. <em>What the fuck is his problem? </em></p><p>“I don't know you, why are you talking to me like you know who I am or anything about me?” He grunted.</p><p>“Aw, cat got your tongue? You’ll have to think of a better deflection than that.” Matt continued. Shane clenched his fist in visible anger.</p><p>“Are you trying to provoke me city boy?” He spat. Matt let out a snide chuckle and approached Shane slowly.</p><p>“Even if I am, ‘You don’t know me, why are you talking to me?’” Matt responded, squaring up to Shane. “Clench your fists and assert your dominance all you want...just try to find someone who’s interested” He finished with another grin. <em>I'm gonna wipe that grin off your pretty little face, who the fuck do you think you are? </em>Shane suddenly grabbed Matt by the collar and threw him up against the wall.Matt tried desperately not to give off any sign of pain but Shane noticed quickly.</p><p>“Don’t test me city boy” he spat, keeping his grip. Shane looked Matt up and down and noticed Matt going red on his cheeks. “Someone embarrassed? Could almost think the little city boy is getting flustered.”</p><p>“You wish.” Matt responded, clearly struggling for breath. Shane looked Matt in the eyes and saw the pain from his back. <em>What am I doing? Heh Shane you've really done yourself proud this time.</em> As his better judgement returned, he quickly loosened his grip and Matt fell to the floor again not expecting the sudden movement. Shane looked down at Matt, he pushed his hair out of his eyes and reached to help Matt up again.</p><p>“You’ve got guts city boy I’ll give you that. More entertaining than most folks around here” He remarked quietly. Matt accepted the offer of help and got back on his feet. He dusted himself off and let his hair down as his bun was beyond fixing. <em>Here comes the shitstorm, bring it on, as though I don't deserve it...</em> To Shane's surprise, Matt's response was calm and docile.</p><p>“Well I’m glad you doing my back in was fun but if you don't mind, I don’t quite think I’d like it to be a regular thing” Matt replied, struggling to mask his discomfort. <em>Is...that it? Thought he was gonna knock my head off...</em> Shane stood awkwardly for a moment as he tried to come to terms with the unexpected response from the new farmer.</p><p>“It’s not hurt badly is it?” Shane asked quietly. <em>Ugh look at me being all caring and shit...well I mean I don't want to actually hurt people... </em>Matt faced him and just looked for a moment. Shane gazed at Matt and soon, a slight blush was forming on his own face as the silence between them was broken.</p><p>“Heh...all the talk you just came out with and really you’re just a softie aren’t you?” Matt said with a chuckle. “Believe me, I’ve been there” he added looking at his feet and tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. <em>Ugh PLEASE don't say soppy shit like that, stop being so nice to me...</em></p><p>“I uh…” Shane stammered slightly. <em> Just say it for Yoba's sake...I don't want him to be hurt... </em>“When I held you against the wall your face went a bit red, I didn’t...strangle you at all did I?” he continued, his blush intensifying. Matt continued softly.</p><p>“No you didn’t dont worry...well it wasn’t anything else...I mean…" </p><p>"Cat got your tongue?" Shane remarked, a smirk returning. <em>Heh funny man me, well I mean he DID use it against me...</em> Matt shot a glare.</p><p>"Hey! You can't use my line against me!" He commented obstinately. Shane laughed. He looked at the man in front of him and felt something he couldn't describe. <em>What am I doing? Why am I being so nice to him...I just...don't want to be mean...</em></p><p>"Well you started it" Shane responded nonchalantly. Matt gave a look of exasperation and chuckled nervously, shuffling his feet slightly.</p><p>"So uh...yeah the name's Matt, it's a pleasure" Matt continued.</p><p>"Shane." He paused for a moment before breaking into a sly grin. "You don't LOOK like a Matt though, prefer city boy" he chuckled.</p><p>"And what happened to all that talk of not wanting to be friends and shit?" Matt asked<em>. I...don't know actually...why am I being so nice to him? </em>Shane couldn't form the words together and just stood nervously. Matt spoke up, softly once more. "You...reacted quite quickly, then seemed to feel bad just as fast." Shane looked away from guilt. <em>Yeah don't remind me...what should I say? Should I just say it?</em></p><p>"Yeah I...don't do well with people. Plus work is a hellhole. I guess I took out my frustration on the wrong person...sorry I don't know why I'm even telling you so much." He continued looking away, fixing his gaze on the sign for the saloon. <em>I...what is this? I </em><em>don't talk to anyone why does someone arrive and just...talk?</em> Shane was interrupted from his thoughts once more.</p><p>"Because you're used to taking your anger out on yourself aren't you?" Matt asked gently. Shane looked at Matt and his mind went blank. He was stunned, unable to form a sentence, unable to get his thoughts together. As a blush began to form on his face, Matt continued, in the same gentle tone. "Look if it makes you feel any better, I've got to take three opioids every morning to avoid the same thing happening...I know depression when I see it." Shane just watched the words come from Matt and tried forming any words at all. <em>Does...he get it? Does he really know what it's like?</em> Shane scanned Matt's face looking for any hint of insincerity. In such a small town people didn't view depression as a genuine illness, it was often dismissed as grumpiness or laziness, which was why he pushed people away so bitterly, but Matt had a genuine smile on his face. His eyes offered kindness and compassion; qualities Shane wasn't used to. </p><p>"You uh...do you wanna grab a drink?" He asked sheepishly. "I usually prefer to drink alone but...you seem cool." He tried to hide his blush and shuffled his feet nervously.</p><p>"You know, after the day I've had I can't imagine anything better." Matt replied eagerly. A smile broke onto Shane's face again, it had been a long time since he'd spent an evening with someone. "Where do you suggest?" Matt continued.</p><p>"Well...right here?" Shane pointed to the sign for the saloon. Matt looked for a moment before exclaiming;</p><p>"Oh so THAT'S what a saloon is!" Shane erupted into laughter as he watched Matt begin to regret his words. <em>Fuck me, he's not been to the country much has he? </em></p><p>"Typical city boy...you coming?" Matt returned the laugh.</p><p>"Yeah in a sec, just gonna have a cigarette, you want one?" He offered. <em>Yoba I haven't smoked for years...it took me long enough to quit...</em></p><p>"Nah...but I'll take a raincheck, get a few drinks down me and I won't care" he jested.</p><p>"Rain...check?" Matt asked in confusion. This made Shane burst into laughter once more.</p><p>"Dear Yoba, you're hopeless city boy" he stammered out as he tried to catch his breath "Anyway I'll head in, what do you want?" </p><p>"Just a triple gin I think, start off lightly." Matt responded nonchalantly; lighting his cigarette and tying his hair back once again. Shane's jaw dropped at the lack of fucks given by Matt with alcohol.</p><p>"Lightly?...Triple?...I mean what mixer do you want?" He asked, completely bewildered.</p><p>"Mixer?!" Matt choked out in shock.</p><p>"Yeah...the stuff you use to dilute the alcohol down" Shane responded. Before he could continue, Matt cut him off in an exasperation that Shane couldn't help but smile at.</p><p>"I know what a fucking mixer is, I'm just shocked you think I'd want to water down my drinks" Matt remarked, pretending to be annoyed and exhaling his smoke sharply. </p><p>"Coming right up city boy" Shane teased before heading into the saloon. As he opened the door and entered he took another glance at Matt who sat gazing at the sunset while finishing his cigarette. <em>Man after my own heart. </em>He thought to himself with a smile as he went inside.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. It’s the little things in life.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the umpteenth time, Matt was scolding himself for not being more restrained with this alcohol intake. It was the next day and his memory of the evening in the saloon was next to non-existent. Between talking to Emily about fashion and luxury goods for hours, complaining about life with Shane, and drinking enough Gin to swim in, he summed it up to be quite a good night. Returning to a semblance of sobriety, he was yet to make a start on any work on the farm, namely planting the parsnips gifted by Lewis. He was telling himself to rest his back...when in reality he had no idea what he was doing; and was procrastinating. It didn't help that he was still tipsy. Finishing a cigarette while sat on his porch, he decided that it would probably be an idea to make a start on getting things operational. He grumbled to himself as he got up and went into the cottage to find the tools. </p><p>He fumbled around the house and came across them eventually, but after trial and error of attempting to allocate the proper role to each tool, he eventually threw the pickaxe down in frustration. <em>Oh it's no use. Where did I leave my phone? I'm sure I can find a how-to online somewhere. </em>Finally being able to name the tools in front of him, he took the hoe, watering can and seeds outside and surveyed the area, trying to judge a good spot to plant things. <em>I think here will do nicely, </em>he thought to himself, clueless as you like. <em>Now it says here to use the hoe to till the soil… </em>He planted the hoe firmly into the ground and pulled as the article on his phone instructed; the large root complexes that had formed over the years did little to help matters. <em>Ngh...they make it look so easy...ah! </em>Matt lost his grip on the handle and fell backwards. <em>Ugh AGAIN?!? I'm going to end up with chronic backache at this rate.</em></p><p>Deciding against another attempt, he sat on the porch in front of the house once again, wincing slightly at the pain. <em>I don't know if I can do</em> this... He reached into his pocket, pulling out an all too familiar container. Opening the lid, he raised it to his lips and felt the soothing burn of the alcohol seeping down his throat, it was warming; comforting. One of the few pleasures he felt he could still indulge in. His thoughts quickly crept back in; <em>I’m </em><em>sorry grandpapa, I just wanted to make you proud... </em>A tear rolled down Matt's cheek and he chucked sadly to himself. <em>Heh...crying so easily. Yoba I have gone soft. </em>He wiped the tear with his thumb and looked up. The sun was setting behind the trees that had sprung up on the farm's land, glistening through the leaves. Matt felt a small nudge on his side.</p><p>"Hmm?...Oh! Well hello there little one." A young grey cat looked up expectantly and meowed softly. Matt grinned to himself as he put the hip flask back in his pocket, his troubles seeming to melt away. "Well aren't you a little sweetie? You here to keep me company?" The cat gently nudged his side again and Matt went to stroke it, letting the cat sniff his hand first to make sure it was okay. The cat purred and flopped over on its side yawning widely.</p><p>"Typical, a cat wanders wherever it wants and acts as though it owns the place. You know you're going to have to go home at some point." The cat continued to purr and let Matt give belly rubs. It then stood up, stretched and climbed onto Matt's lap; making itself comfortable. "Heh looks like you're going to keep me company for a bit. I could use it..." Matt stroked the cat gently and began thinking out loud.</p><p>"You know...they say that when a cat purrs near you, they're trying to heal you...guess you noticed me crying huh?" Another tear began to roll down his face but he didn't bother to wipe it away, he felt the all too familiar weight of depression beginning to tug at him. "You ever feel like you're not good enough? Like you've tried so hard to make something of yourself but have nothing to show for it?" He tried to hold back his tears as best possible; he hated crying.</p><p>"I've lost so much...I'm lucky to even be here still...so why doesn't it feel like luck? Why is it that, even though I know what I should be grateful for, I loathe it...heh you're not even listening are you madam?" The cat continued to purr happily; blissfully unaware of Matt's words. Matt continued anyway, feeling he needed to voice his emotions to at least someone. He looked down as if expecting the cat to respond.</p><p>"Well I suppose it must be okay for you being able to wander anywhere and plop yourself down; expecting - and receiving - adoration...heh must be a much simpler life…" Matt looked up again and gazed at the sky. The sun had now set and the clouds glowed all hues of red, pink and orange as dusk moved over. This had always been Matt's favourite time of day, where the sky transformed to a painting, showcasing the vibrancy of nature's palette. Matt closed his eyes and let himself become lost in the sounds of the evening. The spring breeze rustled the trees and birds chirped sleepily as the day drew to a close. The distant sound of the river that flowed through the farm soothed him and Matt felt himself drifting away from reality. He and the cat sat content for a while without a care before he was drawn back to his senses abruptly.</p><p>"Sorry my dear, are we interrupting?"</p><p><em>Fucking hell! No you're not but you're gonna give me a heart attack if you do that again.</em> Matt looked up and saw Shane was there, along with an older woman and a little girl. Before taking too long to think however, he remembered that he had been asked a question.</p><p>"No, not at all, just this little lady deciding to keep me company for a bit...it's about time she should be getting home anyway" Matt responded as he couldn't resist giving the cat a tickle on the chin. "I don't believe we've met...well I've met Shane...hi again..." His voice trailed off slightly as he felt the little twinge of social anxiety kicking in. <em>Yeah that's right Matt, communication as eloquent as a monkey throwing its own shit around its cage.</em> Matt couldn't help but grin as Shane awkwardly gave a small wave and an equally awkward smile. <em>Heh you and me both apparently</em></p><p>"Yes, Shane has been telling me all about it! Sounds like you two are a bit of a pair already" Marnie responded sweetly. Matt nearly choked on thin air, noticing Shane was feeling similarly embarrassed. "Oh look at me forgetting my manners! My name is Marnie, you've met Shane, and this is Jas". Jas shyly hid behind Marnie's leg, peeping out occasionally as children do.</p><p>"Its a pleasure, I presume I don't need to introduce myself then if someone has already done it for me?" Matt questioned with a subtle smirk. He shot a glance at Shane and noticed the unmistakeable blush through the glow of the sunset. Before the conversation could advance further, they were interrupted by a displeased meow from the cat. "No we haven't forgotten you at all, and you should be making your way home missy, it must be past your dinnertime" Matt announced as though talking to a child.</p><p>"I've seen her out and about before...I think she's a stray, poor little dear" Marnie said solemnly. Matt looked at her and then to the cat again.</p><p>"Oh? Does nobody here know who she belongs to?" Matt asked. Marnie shook her head;</p><p>"No, nobody here owns a cat so I can't think who she'd belong to...its so sad really" She said sadly. Matt didn't need long to decide what he was going to do.</p><p>"Well we can't be having that can we?" He said sweetly to the cat as though she were a baby, before picking her up and holding her in his arms. "I suppose little old me will have to do, won't I?' The cat purred softly, evidently pleased to be the centre of attention once again and let Matt cradle her; she lapped the affection up and looked very pleased with herself. <em>Got herself a human slave, no wonder she's happy now.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shane watched the way Matt held the cat and couldn't help but find it adorable. He watched the cat blinking its eyes slowly and saw the grin on Matt's face, but he soon noticed something that he found quite striking. <em>That's the first time his smile has reached his eyes...I never noticed before...</em></p><p>"Oh I'm so happy she has a home now...what do you think you'll call her?" Marnie asked inquisitively, her mood evidently lifted from such a wholesome moment. Matt thought for a moment;</p><p>"Hmm...I think...Miela...yes I think that suits her" He said softly. Shane noticed the joy leaving his eyes just as quickly as it appeared.</p><p>"What a lovely name!" Marnie said enthusiastically, she was always the one to keep the cheer going wherever she went.</p><p>"Thanks...it was my mother's name actually...well cats are homely aren't they so..." Matt paused for a moment as Marnie looked at Shane awkwardly. She realised what the implications of his words were, and so did Shane. "...so I suppose it's rather fitting isn't it?" Matt finished, sadness unmistakably tainting his words. Marnie looked away for a moment, evidently deep in thought. Jas had stopped paying attention a few moments ago and had found a little patch of flowers to inspect. <em>I can't just leave him hanging like this...</em></p><p>"It's lovely...and I'm sure she'd find it lovely as well..." Shane spoke up awkwardly. He couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with Matt at first. <em>Ugh way to sound like a tit.</em> When he did look up however, he saw Matt looking at him with a smile.</p><p>”Thank you...that means a lot...” He said softly, the sadness still pouring from his words. <em>Poor guy...I wish there was something I could do...after all he did help me.</em> Marnie was still lost in thought but the interruption came from a slightly bossy little girl.</p><p>”Mr Matthew? Why are you growing these flowers by here? They dont look like farm stuff!” <em>Wow Jas, you really have a way with words sometimes.</em> She was referring to a group of weeds that still had yet to be cleaned away, it was evident that Matt hadn’t touched the farmland since he’d moved in. Which was to be expected since it was only yesterday. <em>Uh...kids and the shit they say...how the fuck do I get her out of this one?</em> Shane didn’t have to think for too long;</p><p>”Oh! I’m so glad you asked” Matt said as he put the cat down gently. “I’m sure you wouldn’t want the fairies to have nowhere to go for the tea party would you?” He chuckled sweetly. <em>Heh...he’s such a soft twat...</em> Marnie by now had come to her senses more so.</p><p>”Jas sweetie! There’s no need to say things like that!” She said sternly. Matt chuckled again and interjected.</p><p>”Oh don’t worry, I would have probably asked the same.” He then turned to Jas again and added “Don’t you listen to them” with a wink. Jas let out she cutest little giggle and chanced her luck.</p><p>”So why are there so many? They can’t ALL be for tea parties” Shane rubbed his temple and took a glance at Marnie, who he could tell shared his thoughts. <em>Good luck getting yourself out of this one Matt.</em></p><p>”Well! The fairies can’t sit around having tea all day can they? They need to have somewhere to have a nap, and to read, and all sorts of fairy things” Matt continued, clearly not having thought this one through properly. Jas scrunched her face slightly before seeming to accept what Matt said.</p><p>”I never thought of that! Thanks mister!” She said enthusiastically. Shane struggled to stifle a laugh as Matt breathed an unmistakeable sigh of relief. Marnie asked kindly;</p><p>”Do you have any time to babysit? She’s good as gold honestly” she burst into laughter, Shane could tell she was only half joking. He spoke up deciding he was seeming a bit quiet.</p><p>”She only asks because she loves to have a gossip on tuesdays with the girls in town” Both Shane and Matt giggled at this, before Marnie burst with exhaspiration;</p><p>”Shane! Its fitness, FIT-NESS - not gossip!” The three ended up in hysterics as Matt invited them to sit on the decking outside the house. Jas gave up on looking at the flowers as the night drew in and ended up sitting between Marnie and Shane. It didn’t take long for her to start to fall asleep, which was the cue that it was bedtime.</p><p>”Well dear its been a lovely chat but this little one is drooping now” Marnie said sweetly.</p><p>”Oh of course, don’t let me keep you. And thank you for coming up to see me so soon as well.” Matt responded. They stood and Marnie began to lead Jas home along the farmland. Shane waited behind for a moment;</p><p>”Hey sorry for being kinda...awkward tonight...” <em>Why do you do this to yourself? You could have just left but no.</em> Matt looked at him and smiled.</p><p>”Is apologising a hobby of yours? Or...” he smirked slightly as he deliberately let the sentence trail off. <em>Heh if only you knew...I should probably just check he’s okay...</em></p><p>”Heh...by the way...” he started nervously. Matt tucked loose strands of hair behind his ear and looked intently. <em>Yoba im gonna have to ask him for style tips...how does he always look so good...</em> Tripping over his own thoughts, he quickly tried to blurt out his words. “Uh...I meant to say...” <em>Just speak for Yoba’s sake...</em> </p><p>“Yes?” Matt asked patiently. He smiled comfortingly at Shane which helped him settle a little bit.</p><p>”I’m sorry about your mother...it can’t have been easy...” he said apprehensively. He expected to see the same sadness wash over Matt’s demeanor but instead he noticed a smile spreading across his face.</p><p>”It’s alright...thank you though, it means a lot.” Matt gazed at Shane and he noticed something had returned. <em>Heh that’s better...his eyes have lit up again...</em> He shuffled his feet nervously and felt his cheeks going warm.</p><p>”No worries...” Shane wanted to say more but his words failed him. They stood awkwardly for a moment before Matt took his pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Shane looked on in horror as Matt nonchalently took 4 from the pack, placed each one between his fingers and lit them simultaneously, smoking all four of them at once. Matt seemed to notice Shane’s bewilderment and laughed between his drags.</p><p>”What? I haven’t had one for about an hour and a half, im not going to smoke in front of a child am I?” Shane returned the laugh heartily. <em>Dear Yoba, what is he like? I’ve never seen someone do that before.</em></p><p>”You’re a real character city boy, I’ll give you that” He said as he watched the plumes of smoke drift into the night.</p><p>”I do try” Matt returned with a grin. They stood awkwardly for a few moments more before Shane thought it would be best to head home before things got more awkward.</p><p>”Well...I guess I’ll see you around then?” He asked. Matt exhaled and sat down on the decking again.</p><p>”Yeah...thanks for coming Shane. You’re a great guy you know” He said calmly. Shane didn’t quite know how to respond. He smiled awkwardly and turned to leave. As he began to walk he felt all too familiar thoughts beginning to creep their way in. When he was a fair distance away, he looked back and watched Matt with Miela for a moment, barely making out their silhouettes contrasting with the lights in the farmhouse. <em>Heh...try telling the others in town how “great” I am...I’ll probably screw it up anyway and he’ll think the same as them...</em> He continued walking back to the ranch and his thoughts slowly began to centre on a certain liquid poison; the same one that demanded his attention night after night, seemingly without end.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And thus we begin to see a few things about Matt's past, not revealing too much yet through :p <br/>This one was meant to be a little bit of a content filler but still addresses a few themes I wanted to convey in my writing. I suppose it may be best to say that from here on out the story will slowly begin to take a bit of a turn; but that's all I'll say :p<br/> I do hope you enjoyed :D</p>
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